To do or not to do

Back then in secondary school, there was a time when I hated Kerja Cuti Terancang (year-end holiday homework that should be passed to the new homeroom teacher at the beginning of the new term). What am I saying, I've never once liked any homework that would take up my precious holiday moments. But there was this one particular batch of homework which I swore to myself not to do a single thing about it; I think this was during my rebellious stage of teenage hood. I even made a few of my friends do the same, which makes me wonder now about how amazing my persuasive skills had been. Now back to my story, when the new term started, and teachers began to be busy collecting homework, while making a head count of how many students were naughty and nice, I began to have a change in heart. I remembered this karangan BM that we had to write, and despite all pledge and oath of the rebellion commitee, I started to write one whole page of essay (which was still considered short). I could not remember what ignited my student enthusiasm so suddenly; perhaps the teacher was frightening (but as far as my memory could recall, my BM teachers were all nice), or perhaps I was just an impulsive person as I am now; but I finished the essay in about..5? 10 minutes? Don't be amazed, just don't. Because I wrote in anything that my brain could offer at that time, and my handwriting was...well, horrendous. And then one friend came by, looked at my piece, and bluntly said something like, "kalau buat cincai macam ni baik takyah buat langsung." Jokingly, and with a smirk. I ignored those remarks back then, but I think the effect was postponed until just now. When I was about to surrender and flip off every bit of pushing force I have in myself to survive this week of torture, I suddenly remembered those words. And that muka mintak pukul. If I didn't remember them, I would probably have told myself to sleep for two days straight without preparing for the long case exam on Thursday, and just type whatever nonsense I can create in the case summaries that I have to submit this Friday. Well that would be a waste wouldn't it? 

Anyway, as for the friends that I had betrayed, they're still friends with me :) they really love me unconditionally, don't they?

I wrote a long paragraph but I deleted them all just because I felt like it. :D

Anyway, I just finished painting the background of a poster that I wished to stick onto the walls of my new hostel room in Klang, but I would take probably a few more days to achieve the ambitious image that I have in mind. 

I am just willing to put in that effort so that throughout my clinical years that I am about to begin, after any ups or downs that I may face, I may remind myself of who I am when I look at the painting. Because time might change a person, they say.
(The above paragraph sounds so miserable, but believe me, I am writing with a lot of enthusiasm..ahaha)

Please pray that I won't stumble and fall. You're the best. :)

Life Is A Brief Candle (?)

Knowing since little that I would never become younger as years pass by, neither am I another case of Benjamin Button, I always feel that it is a waste to just let myself rot by age without doing anything memorable. I was born a free-spirit, or maybe I raised myself as one, so if one who grows up being a conservative person is allowed to conform to the norm, I don't see why I should do the same all the time. I am inclined to do things out of the blue, but most of the time, my days are as monotonous as ever. So occasionally, when I act by impulse, those are the times when I need to feed my needs, being the person that I am.

One of the biggest things that I've always dreamed of doing is travelling solo. *but you're a girl* *it's really dangerous, you know* *what if anything happens?* What if. What if. Do you realise that all those what ifs are a clumped fragment of your imagination, that becomes the sole reason why people are always too afraid to move forward? Yes, yes, I am reasonable and realistic enough to understand that the world is not a safe place to live in, more so a place to go hanging around by yourself. But do you think it's fair that not only that the thugs out there are taking away your feeling of safety, but also snatching off your opportunity to really see the world? Number one rule: Be safe. That's the guideline.

I can imagine myself taking a bus to the airport, board a plane to an island, arrive at night, go to a cheap chalet by the beach but being told that they're fully booked (there must be some drama), ask for directions for any nearby chalet, got a place in a cheap-but-looks-safe chalet, in the morning rent a bike for a day and explore the island and have light-hearted conversations with the islanders (without exposing so much of myself), watch sunset in the evening, and at the end of the day, telling myself that I should do this more often.

Just imagining that assures me that I would surely learn a lot from that experience, and I really did. It happened last September. Right after my afternoon lectures on a Friday, I took my backpack and made my move (nothing was booked except for the flight tickets which I bought a month earlier out of the craving to feel free). I don't think I need to tell the whole story here, but one thing for sure, it was something worth telling my future grandchildren, insyaAllah. And Allah made sure from the very beginning that I was safe, thank you Allah :)

I plan on only going for local travels for now, but insyaAllah, if all goes well, I hope to go across the globe after graduation :D

Gullible

Gullibility has been deemed as a thing to laugh about nowadays. 

Marked as "lurus bendul", gullible people, have become a laughing stock to the people who seek any chance of preying on them.

What makes some people gullible? They are the people who always see the good in others. Who could see the tiniest bit of light, even when others couldn't. 

But because of that some people have been taken control by their own selfishness, they saw these gullible group of people as the bottom liners of the food chain, while assuming that they're at the top. They were the reason why people became more suspicious of each other, producing more and more pessimistic minds.

And now seeing good in others has become a joke of the century.

Beneath it All

Ramadhan this year feels very gloomy. 

Who would disagree, seeing how multiple disasters strike us Muslims in one big blow. 

"Big blows" might be more precise to refer to what our poor Palestenians are going through.

Not enough with that, MH17 went down to pieces after being shot down.

Those are trials. Fret not,

Our beloved Prophet (S.A.W.) said "Know that with patience comes victory" (Tirmidhi)

and Allah told us in the Quran "Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account" 39:10

although how difficult the hurdles are, insyaAllah, let us Muslims have faith in Allah, because He will recompensate our patience with something much better. 

:) 

Be strong, my brothers and sisters.

Sanggup tak awak putuskan tali layang-layang tu?

Kadang-kadang kita fikir kita dah berjaya move on.

Move on daripada crush yang awak ada dekat cikgu tusyen adik awak.

Move on daripada kesedihan melampau bila ikan emas awak mati kena flush, bukan kena flush sebab mati.

Move on daripada kekecewaan bila kawan baik awak dah tak bagi awak kad raya macam setiap tahun tapi dia cuma hantar "salam aidilfitri" kat whatsapp yang boleh hantar secara free.

Tapi betul-betul lepas kita rasa kita dah move on tulah, kadang-kadang kita diduga. Untuk tengok sejauh mana kita betul-betul dah lepaskan sesuatu tu. 

Masa tulah bila kita nak lupakan sesuatu, benda tu datang balik elok-elok depan mata kita. 

Kalau pendirian kita kuat, kita dah tak kisah, sebab kita dah lama lepaskan pegangan kat sesuatu perkara tu.

Tapi kalau lepas kita diduga tu, kita masih rasa connected dengan sesuatu perkara tu, memang sebenarnya terbukti yang dari awal kita tak move on pun sebenarnya.

Harini saya diduga. Benda yang saya tak jangka. Tapi harini saya tau yang saya betul-betul dah lama move on. 

The Future's So Scary What Can I Do?

I need to study because I want to become a doctor. 

That sounds very demotivating to me, I don't know why. Probably because of how cliche it sounded.

But sometimes I do have a thought that perhaps because I am one of the generation that will once have to replace Tun Mahathir, Dato' Seri Najib, Zety Aziz, Dato' Seri Hishammuddin, you get what I mean, perhaps that is why I have to hold this pen and these uninviting books. Probably it's because we still can't see that coming, because we're still lazying around in our comfort zone, probably that's why we're slacking off. We feel like we're still kids, so we don't have to meddle in with the adults. Music shows are more tempting than talks about global issues, I agree. 

But when the thing that we dread most comes, when our country is on the verge of crumbling. What if it comes faster than expected, for the sake of protecting what we love, who we love, we would definitely step in to fight. But with our current condition, the question is, what do we fight with? The vague knowledge that we have? I'm being frank here, with my current knowledge, if we put in percentage, the amount of knowledge that may enable me to help my country is..well, close to zero. Realizing that just makes me want to slap my own face. Not literally. What have I been doing for these past 21 years? Oh. I have the answer to that. I've been taking advantage of the prosperous and peaceful life that I have. And time. Oh how much I've wasted that.

The first thing that has got to change is. My attitude.

The first thing that has got to go is. My laziness. Which is stuck like glue to me.

An attachment is an act of handing out one end of a ribbon to someone while you are holding the other end. A person might be very comfortable with attachments, and another person might feel very insecure. While one might have a bundle of ribbons to hand out to everyone, the next person might only have three. That's why he's choosing very carefully of who he's going to trust those ribbons to. And to make matters more complex, the one with rolls of ribbons might eventually stop giving out so much ribbons because he wrongly chose ribbon-keepers who took advantage of his generousity and cut the ribbons in the end.
The ribbon may represent trust, time, money, effort, or everything all together, that depends on how you see it. But how twisted an attachment can be, scares another person, whose amount of ribbons, well, is not very important.

Dots of light

Do you believe that my 1st Semester break is....none at all? Yes, our last paper was on last Thursday, and we got to enjoy the three remaining days before the new semester began today. Students from other courses were like doing a somersault into a lake and we were like only dipping our toes in before somebody out of nowhere dragged us back to the real world. Or maybe it was like a situation where a friend of mine from the Science Faculty asked me to do skydiving together, and when we started to jump off the airplane, I only got a slight rush of wind before I opened my eyes and found that I was in my lab holding a microscope doing another stool observation.

Oh well, I'm not here to complain, we already knew about the "all-work-and-no-play" semester from our seniors last year. So, let's just live with it.

Last Friday night, for the first time, my friends and I went to watch fireflies at Kampung Kuantan. I missed that chance when I was in KUSESS, so there I was, gazing at the admirable beauty of God's creations. I had hoped to see stars in the sky a few nights before, but it happened to be whether the cloudy sky was envious of the little darlings' radiance, or the jewels themselves were anti-social. But when I got to see the fireflies, my wish was granted alhamdulillah... (not around any orbit, that is), they were beautiful masyaAllah..the guy who rowed our boat let us catch a few and put them on our palms, but I was scared that they were so fragile and I might hurt them. And I'd like to share with you any photo of them if I did have any, but sadly I don't, they didn't look good in a photo (I pity your non-photogenic selves, little ones).

I wish to see fireflies again some other time, if I have the chance, :)

Anyway, now that a new semester is beginning, I wish for refreshing days ahead :D

Bengang sikit. Maaf.

Funny. And annoying at the same time. 
So the results for the continuous assessment tests have been out and I did so poorly for all subjects, with a collection of different grades (count from the bottom, not from the top haha).
Must I give an excuse for it? Hmm let me think. (About who or what I should put the blame on)

1. It's a negative-marking assessment. My hentam skills couldn't really be put to a good use here. 
2. I basically read most of the parasitology and pharmacology notes for the first time on the day before the two tests. Reading seemed faster than memorizing, aaand I couldn't even finish reading the last three lectures for each of those subjects. 
3. I had to attend the Annual General Meeting for a project that I'm in on the night before the Parasitology and Pharmacology tests. And prepare the presentation slides.
4. The amount of the bacteria, viruses and fungi in Molecular Microbiology was killing me. 

Secara terang-terangan, alasan je semua tu. Aku tau, sebab tu sebenarnya aku salahkan diri sendiri, sebab study last minit sangat-sangat (kecuali Pathology lah, sebab aku suka Pathology, cumanya markah teruk jugak, tapi kira okaylah sebab soalan yang aku kantoi tu yang aku tak habis baca).

But something really bothers me, so much that I've decided to blog again, right? Haha. The results were out according to our matrics number, and in Parasitology my grade was among the lowest, you see. Some people asked me what my grade was, and when I told them they looked at me with such pity that it was so obvious I felt like it was a tragedy equivalent to my cat dying. In the beginning when I saw my grades, I was really positive, telling myself that I would work really harder for the big upcoming final exam. But when they did that, they somehow made me feel like I was really incapable of doing so.
Much worse was when a guy suddenly came to me after I had just finished my dinner, and he asked me what my grades were for Para and Pharmaco (MMB's result were not out yet). He said he already knew about my Parasitology grade, and he even mentioned that I was among the lowest. (Please don't imagine him as a mean guy, because I'm afraid I'm giving a bad impression of him, he was just asking me maybe with a good intention.) 

Probably hating these people is not a good thing to do, but I totally feel uneasy with their attitudes. This test is 5%, it's not that small, I know, but if I fail this one, it doesn't mean that I'd fail the final exam. But that kind of look they're giving me, the way they talked to me, really deteriorate my motivation.

So what should I do? Motivate myself to excel in order to prove something to them?
Naah..
Niat salah tu, study sebab nak tunjuk kat orang...
Jadi disebabkan apa yang diorang buat tu xleh nak dikategorikan sebagai "constructive comments", pasang earphone, pandang jauh ke depan, and do what we do best. 

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

Ya Allah,
aku berdoa supaya Allah lapangkan dadaku dan Syatrah untuk menerima ilmu-Mu,
dan supaya kami berjaya amalkan ilmu Mu dengan niat dan cara yang betul,
dan aku berdoa supaya kecemerlangan yang Allah kurniakan kami akan menjadikan kami insan-insan yang lebih baik di sisiMu.
Amin.
:)

Rather than striving to be what I wish to be in 10 years time, 

I should start striving to be a better me every day,

Rather than gathering books about what I should learn,

Why not I seek knowledge about everything, some of this and some of that,

Rather than trying to be someone liked by people,

Why not I be somebody I, myself can love unconditionally.

Time is powerful enough to change a person.

Thank you time, you've done me a great favor.

Comfort Zone

Assalamualaikum,

A LOT has happened, in which a book cannot summarize it all. A lot of changes, that's for sure, starting with my writing skills becoming rusticated -.-

Just two semesters of being an undergraduate, much precisely, a medical student, I feel like I've traveled through a totally different dimension. The safe zone that I was lazing in comfortably once is there no more. For the very first time in my life, I felt what it was like to be waaaay far behind the comfort zone for a long period of time. Insecurity, vulnerability, inferiority, you name it..in terms of studies, I always felt like I was a tiny little skittle lying on a busy road waiting to be crushed. Let's just say I was a late-bloomer and I did awfully in my first semester (plus being overly-distracted), and my 2nd semester results were better, but put them together, and so I was within 1 % more mark to pass my first year. Not that I didn't pass, anyway. We, who they called the "borderline students" were informed on Monday for an oral test which would take place on the very next day. Objectively, it was a hand reaching out from our lecturers to take us one step ahead. They wanted to observe us whether they should pass us or not. Alhamdulillah, Allah eased my ways and I passed my first year! Yay for me~

For my friends who didn't pass, I really hope they'd be in high spirits for their supplementary classes. I really really believe they'd do great. People who don't understand really underestimate these guys. Believe me, all of them are really smart, and most are some of the cleverest kids I've ever known. One of them taught me Calculus during my pre-U..it's all about timing. Please, dear Allah, please ease my friends so that all of us may enter second year of med school together. Amiin...

Photography isn't just photography..there's more to it than that..just like there's more to life than how much we expect there is. 

Throughout these almost 2 decades, all the way from those large bulky cameras to digital cams, to low-quality phone cams, to instax, then GoPros and DSLRs, after all those times that I've been clicking the magic button, I figured out that the term "Picture Perfect" is overrated. 

I had been awed by the beauty and perfection of the art that came out after a single touch, but then I figured out that that is artificial. Because what's in the photo is prettier that the real sight.

The real deal is, when I snap a shot, but no matter how many times I change the angle, or brightness, or adjust the aperture or whatever, I would never be mesmerized by the picture in the camera just as I've been mesmerized by looking at it with my own eyes. When those moments come, I would usually just put my camera down and just take all the perfection in with all my senses and hope that it'll stay in my memory.

Here are a few photos from a few years back that I had rescued from myspace. 

 I miss being there, although it was only a pedestrian walk (wasn't even a park haha), but I just felt some connection back then. How I love the simple days.

Back to studying, lalala

Something's wrong

Finals is coming in 3 weeks and lately I'm still doing this..

Reminder to self: 

1. Remember how many years you have strived to get into med school.

2. Remember the feelings when you first got accepted into med school.

3. Allah didn't put you here for no reason. You are here, at this time, with a purpose.

4. Remember why you chose this path in the first place, the very first time it got into this heart of yours when it was still so tiny.

5. Compare yourself with your previous self, not with other people.

6. Don't lose yourself. 

What's actually worrying me is, I can't seem to find the determined side of me that I had sometime ago.

Free Time Scribbles

Last night was the time when I officially opened my Biochemistry book "Metabolisme Tubuh Manusia" for the first time, and there was one page which made me smile..I mean, crazy right, to smile because of a BIOCHEMISTRY book..no,seriously, I smiled. Because of the dedication page, actually haha.

A simple line of "Dorongan bagi Harris, Marcella & Hafeitz."

Oh, I haven't told anyone that my second name is Marcella. Cool, eh?

Okay what am I kidding. Actually I just smiled because to me, it's very sweet that our Prof wrote this book in order to motivate these three people, who I think I can assume as the important people in his life? His children, maybe..

So that made me daydream..what if one day I had the motivation to write a book, I wonder who I'd dedicate it to? It should depend on the title of the book that I'm going to write, right?

So, here're a few ideas..

A Basketball Is Rounder Than An Orange

(A little note of gratitude to Nur Nadhirah Mohd Zaib)

How My Eyebrows Affect The Modern Society

(A warm memoir of Ashikin and Firdaus)

Onions Made My Tears Fall On A September's Day

(Specially dedicated to Qani'ah Abdul Rahman)

I think those are brilliant ideas...need to get this pen moving haha.

Now, I gotta get back to memorizing muscles of the thorax. Buhbye~

Somebody once asked: What is your goal in life?

I answered to myself: I'd aim to become a good doctor.

Then he said: What happens after that? After you have reached that goal, will you stop living?

I stopped to think for a moment.

Then I remembered something that happened in my kampung during the holidays.

My grandmother and my aunt wished me all the best in my studies, telling me study well so that I'll become a good doctor, insyaAllah. 

One statement that followed struck me and I froze: "Tapi rasanya tak sempatla kot sya nak rawat tok/mak jah"

There was only one fearful though that occured inside my mind. It's nothing related to them. But to me.

What if something happens to me along the way. Nauzubillah.

But considering all possibilities, what if?

I then told myself: It must be sad to leave when you haven't even reached your dreams. When you have done so little good deeds.

Isn't it true? We don't know when our time will come, yet we make ambitions that would take years in order to achieve them.

Is it wrong to stick to those ambitions? No, I don't think so. But I tell myself from that on that becoming a doctor can be my "side goal", but the major thing is "to make the most out of a day."

Which means..that I'll have to treasure every moment, remember Allah in each of my heartbeats, make the best choices in life, repent after every mistake, and aim to end each day with a smile before closing my eyes.

Easier written that done, right? But let's give it a try, insyaAllah. :)

Misi Berjaya

Sarat.

Apa maksud sarat?

Klu: sarat ialah satu keadaan yang aku tengah alami sekarang ni.

Sarat bermaksud dipenuhi dengan sesuatu. Dan perut aku sedang sarat dengan....... Alhamdulillah, gendang gendut tali kecapi kenyang perut suke hati :)

Semalam kan aku tak dapat feel merdeka tu kan, and mengidam nak tengok bunga api T T,

tapi rezeki aku berganda-ganda hari ni sebab jiran aku yang kaya tu jemput semuaaaa orang kat kawasan sekitar ni untuk open house raya yang beliau buat hari ni dengan esok, dan bila aku sampai, sangkaan aku meleset, aku rasa dia bukan jemput semua orang kat kawasan ni, tapi dia jemput semuaaaaaaa oraannggg..hahaha ramai yang teramat!

Masa tengah makan nasik briyani tu, telinga aku dah dengar dah bunyi letup-letup. Tengok langit, berkaca-kaca mata sebab ada bunga api yang besaaaarrr punyaaa depan mata hahaha :D ALhamdulillah, misi aku berjaya haha~ :DD

Terima kasih, Pak Cik Ali, selamat hari raya, selamat hari kemerdekaan~! :3

gambar dari google

Eve of Merdeka Day

Approximately the past 25th minute was supposed to be the first minute of our 55th Independence Day. But technically, I didn't know which sounded louder- the singing of the crickets that were probably being reared by my neighbours who love nature or the sound of fireworks on display set up by maybe my rich neighbour who lives a few blocks away.

The e-news informed that fireworks were going to be displayed in front of the KLCC and another one in Shah Alam, but for the first time in history, Dataran Merdeka was excluded. It was because Dataran Merdeka is currently being 'groomed' for tomorrow's big event. Okay, that's understandable.

But I was quite dissapointed that there was no programme on TV for the Merdeka countdown. I was eagerly waiting for midnight although my eyes wanted to bail on me, but I resisted from sleeping by watching a horror movie in the meantime. Last last takde ponnn.. =.=

Okay, adala bunyi bunga api kat luar, satu port dekat ngan Old Tow* Coffee, lagi satu dekat ngan macam aku cakap, jiran kaya yang tinggal seberang sana. But I want the big one! THE BIG ONE!

From my house, we could see the twin tower, but sadly the fireworks view was restricted by the opposite houses. (Macam tak boleh jalan keluar je kan, pemalas betul aku ni)

Hmm in the end, my mom who was also waiting eagerly for the countdown on tv, fell in love with the drama on air, my sister shrugged it off and went to sleep, my brother did not have to be taken into consideration.emm he was already in his slumber land a few hours ago, and as for me, I am hoping that I ould see fireworks in my sleep.

Let's hope that the big event at Dataran Merdeka today is going to be super amazing.

If not, let's see if my neighbour has some spare fireworks. :P

Selamat menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan Malaysia yang ke-55!

If I were supposed to meet 5 true loves in this life, Malaysia would definitely be one of them.

Saya sayang Malaysia!

 

With love, I rest my case. :)

Eh eh dah raya

Assalamualaikum

Kejap je kan dah masuk bulan Syawal? Kalau untuk aku yang banyak masa lapang ni pun dah kira sekejap, apetah lagi untuk mereka yang sibuk sepanjang bulan Ramadhan, kan.

Janggal sangat ke bunyinye aku guna Bahasa Melayu ni? Takdela janggal mane, kan? Aku ni melayu jugak, okey. ;P

Banyak yang kita semua lalui sepanjang Ramadhan, pahit, manis, kelat, masam, semua tu harap2 dijadikan iktibar. Bagi aku, masa bulan Ramadhan dan bulan Syawal paling banyak kot dugaan.

Ya, bagi orang yang kenal aku, aku memang bukan jenis suka bagitau orang perasaan aku. Contohnye kalau aku berdendam dengan kucing jiran, ataupun kalau aku suka pakcik yang jual lemang, ataupun kalau aku sedih sebab selipar aku hilang orang curi. Hmmm.. Kenapa eh? Mungkin sebab aku xnak orang lain rasa apa yang aku rasa, mungkin aku tak berani nak percaya dekat orang lain, mungkin tula cara terbaik untuk aku lupekan sume bende? Haha sorilah aku memang kompleks sikit.

Tapi kan, aku bersyukur sangat sebab Allah tak jauhkan aku daripada mengingati Dia. Ada orang yang bila dilanda ribut, dia lupa yang dia masih ada Allah, dan dia putus harapan dengan semua perkara. Hmm..biasalah tu, mungkin aku pun pernah jugak macam tu satu masa dulu.

Tapi kawan-kawan,abang kakak, pakcik makcik, ni nasihat untuk awak dan saya sendiri (sopan dah..haha), dunia ni sekejap je, pejam celik pejam celik,pejam.. satu hari nanti kita takkan celik2 dah sampailah tiba masa untuk Allah bangkitkan kita balik. Dugaan dan cabaran tu memanglah manusia biasa macam kita ni kena tempuhi, sebab Allah nak tengok layak ke kita untuk jadi ahli syurga-Nya nanti. Yelah, kan sabar tu separuh daripada iman..

Kadang-kadang orang lain yang jadi dugaan untuk kita. Bertimbun-timbun kita buat baik, naik lemak pulak dia. Hahahah...tapi kalau nak mulia di sisi Allah, abaikan tu semua..sabar jelah, dan cuba maafkan dia. Ada satu ayat Al-Quran yang bermaksud:

"All the Messengers whom We sent before, certainly, ate food and walked through the streets. We have made some of you (people) a trial for the others. Would you then exercise patience? Your Lord is All-aware." Surah Al-Furqan: 20

Masa aku baca ni tersentap jugak tiba-tiba. Memang kena pada waktunya. Alhamdulillah, Allah bagi petunjuk. Takde guna kita nak marah-marah, semua tu kan amalan syaitan. Kita taknak jadi kawan syaitan kan? Nak mengadu apa-apa, mengadulah dekat Allah. Sesungguhnya Dia Maha Dekat. Dalam surah Qaf, ayat 16:

"We verily created a man and We know what his soul whispereth to him, and We are nearer to him than his jugular vein."

MasyaAllah.

Hmm sempena bulan Syawal yang mulia ni, aku nak susun sepuluh jari memohon maaf untuk semua dosa yang aku pernah buat dekat sesapa yang berkenaan, kalau2 aku tak sedar aku pernah sakitkan hati sesiapa, kalau aku bergurau tak kena tempat, kalau aku pinjam barang lupa nak pulangkan, dan sebagainya. Yang tak elok, tolonglah tegur-tegur, ya. Duit raya jangan segan silu untuk hulur-hulur kat sini..haha :D

Selingan:

Kalau pasal CNBlue rata-rata orang ingat Yong Hwa je. Asal x org x berapa nk sedar pasal dia ni? Dia cool apa?!

The Cherished Stranger

She seems like a stranger

The girl in these photos

Everything about her is smiling

But the mirror tells me that that girl is me

Time made me lose myself

Who I am isn't who I was

I lost control over thyself

I've drenched myself in a heavy rain

Washing out everything that I had

Making me forget about the girl in the photo

Though, time might have done me a favour

Letting me know what bitter is like

So I would cherish sweetness more than before

Burying me in a deep hole under the ocean floor

So I would dig up with my fingers

And swim breathlessly to where I'd rather be

Keeping me hostage in alternating darkness and light

So I would not give up on a precious thing called hope

Got me hanging on one hand at the edge of a cliff

To teach my soul that giving up is a self-betrayal

The girl in the photo

Stranger or not

I cherish that blissful being

But so long to thee

Far ahead I would be

Hand in hand with all I've gathered

Ready to the next journey that time would bring me