Bengang sikit. Maaf.

Funny. And annoying at the same time. 
So the results for the continuous assessment tests have been out and I did so poorly for all subjects, with a collection of different grades (count from the bottom, not from the top haha).
Must I give an excuse for it? Hmm let me think. (About who or what I should put the blame on)

1. It's a negative-marking assessment. My hentam skills couldn't really be put to a good use here. 
2. I basically read most of the parasitology and pharmacology notes for the first time on the day before the two tests. Reading seemed faster than memorizing, aaand I couldn't even finish reading the last three lectures for each of those subjects. 
3. I had to attend the Annual General Meeting for a project that I'm in on the night before the Parasitology and Pharmacology tests. And prepare the presentation slides.
4. The amount of the bacteria, viruses and fungi in Molecular Microbiology was killing me. 

Secara terang-terangan, alasan je semua tu. Aku tau, sebab tu sebenarnya aku salahkan diri sendiri, sebab study last minit sangat-sangat (kecuali Pathology lah, sebab aku suka Pathology, cumanya markah teruk jugak, tapi kira okaylah sebab soalan yang aku kantoi tu yang aku tak habis baca).

But something really bothers me, so much that I've decided to blog again, right? Haha. The results were out according to our matrics number, and in Parasitology my grade was among the lowest, you see. Some people asked me what my grade was, and when I told them they looked at me with such pity that it was so obvious I felt like it was a tragedy equivalent to my cat dying. In the beginning when I saw my grades, I was really positive, telling myself that I would work really harder for the big upcoming final exam. But when they did that, they somehow made me feel like I was really incapable of doing so.
Much worse was when a guy suddenly came to me after I had just finished my dinner, and he asked me what my grades were for Para and Pharmaco (MMB's result were not out yet). He said he already knew about my Parasitology grade, and he even mentioned that I was among the lowest. (Please don't imagine him as a mean guy, because I'm afraid I'm giving a bad impression of him, he was just asking me maybe with a good intention.) 

Probably hating these people is not a good thing to do, but I totally feel uneasy with their attitudes. This test is 5%, it's not that small, I know, but if I fail this one, it doesn't mean that I'd fail the final exam. But that kind of look they're giving me, the way they talked to me, really deteriorate my motivation.

So what should I do? Motivate myself to excel in order to prove something to them?
Naah..
Niat salah tu, study sebab nak tunjuk kat orang...
Jadi disebabkan apa yang diorang buat tu xleh nak dikategorikan sebagai "constructive comments", pasang earphone, pandang jauh ke depan, and do what we do best. 

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

Ya Allah,
aku berdoa supaya Allah lapangkan dadaku dan Syatrah untuk menerima ilmu-Mu,
dan supaya kami berjaya amalkan ilmu Mu dengan niat dan cara yang betul,
dan aku berdoa supaya kecemerlangan yang Allah kurniakan kami akan menjadikan kami insan-insan yang lebih baik di sisiMu.
Amin.
:)