Dear Doctor,

Sorry to disturb you, doc, but I don't know anyone whom I can consult other than you. I think I have a weird kind of illness that only I possess at the time being. It starts from the beginning of the morning; most nights before, I've already set my alarm to 4 am, 5 am, 5.30 am and 6 am, wholeheartedly hoping that I would have the same burning spirit to perform ibadah and study the morning I wake up. I have no trouble waking up, but only to glare at my alarm clock and press it to "OFF". I ended up waking up at 6.30 most mornings. Even if I did manage to pull myself up and glue myself to the chair, I'd only focus for the 1st one hour (at most), then I'd feel regretful of burning my sleeping time. So I'd happily jump on the bed again to sleep. *Slapping my face.

And during lecture, I feel happy when I can focus on the lectures, but then again, my attention don't last long. My whole body responds well to the lectures; copying the notes obediently, but my thoughts are far far away, in my own lala land. *Slapping my face.

And I have trouble after having meals. I eat quite punctually- lunch at 1, dinner at 6, then probably my tummy feels so happy that I become really sleepy especially after dinner, so studying at night isn't quite easy for me. I think many days have been like that for me. Aaahhh I hate myself for wasting so much time. *Double slap face.

So how Doctor? What illness is this? Please help me. 

I think I need to refuel. Take some time to contemplate and organize things and my time better. Smile more often. Cut off excessive laughing. Be less careless. Pray more. Exercise more. Eat well. Stop feeling too comfortable. Be more ready. Focus hard. Study more. Become better inside out. 

p/s: someone's blog made my day today. he's just plain cool and inspirational.